This has long been hovering in the centre of much controversy. Is it better to make decisions with your head, or your heart?

Why is it that this question is so difficult to answer? Maybe because there are so many different people on this small and polluted planet of ours, and everyone has a different opinion, becuase that is their birth right. Maybe because some people who are more logically orientated think that mind always over rules heart. And because these people exist, so do their opposites, thus there are those who believe the heart is how you truly feel about someone, and that you can never be really happy until your heart is happy. Otherwise you feel incomplete.

 

So, which is better?

 

I think this question is almost impossible to answer, because at different times in our lives we want different things. Sometimes, it is necessary to think through your mind. Sometimes, it’s the heart that decides. Be it conscious or otherwise. These decisions, in turn, will influence the decisions of those around you, and it all keeps going around a non-stop chain reaction.

However, I do believe that there are people in this world who whole-heartedly (or headedly, for that matter) devote themselves to making one sided decisions. Ones that involve only the heart, or the head. And I admire them. But I also think that you can never be happy if you are always set in your ways. Everything should be open to interpretation.

I mainly go with what my heart tells me. But I realize that it can’t always be like that. And I’m pretty happy.

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We’ve all been lonely at some point in our lives. Everybody knows the feeling. It’s universal. Now I’m not talking about being alone, because sometimes that’s just what you need. But loneliness is an entirely different kettle of fish. You feel isolated, melancholic, and outcast. Forgotten, almost. None of these are very pleasant to experience. You know that there are thousands of other lonely people, but somehow it feels like it’s just you. Right?

Like everything, loneliness can be very dangerous in large quantities. For instance, when a mentally unstable person is isolated from human contact, ‘for their own good’. It’s happened, and will continue to happen, unfortunately. I know a few people who let their feelings of abandonment consumer their lives for years. It can make people do terrible things to themselves, and others. But you know what? They pulled through, and are now living happy enough lives. There is hope at the end of the tunnel.

So, what causes us to feel lonely? It could be small things, like a fight with a loved one, or everybody forgetting your birthday. Or it could be big, like the loss of a family member, lover, friend, due to some tragic illness. It could be pressure: pressure from having to do exams, having to get a report handed in on time, having to do a list of tasks that are seemingly impossible to do by oneself. Loneliness is caused by a time of stress, leaving us feeling withdrawn, empty and reclusive. It’s all mental though. It’s all in your mind.

That is what you have to realize (even if you think it’s absolute balderdash) if you want to get out. Most lonely people think of themselves as unlovable, unloved, unwanted, useless. All of which are completely untrue. You can choose to forget about all the crap going on in your life right now and just go out and talk to people. Who cares if they like you or not? There’s so many different kinds of people in the world, you’re bound to find someone who does. Plus, if you’re a nice person, that is always easily recognisable, and likeable, even if you are super weird. You are what you make yourself out to be. And that’s the damn truth. If you are sitting there, reading this blog (thanks btw) in your (unwashed) underwear (don’t pretend it doesn’t happen) eating a piece of cold, greasy pizza, then you are, in fact, a mess. Get yourself up, get in the shower, put on new underwear, shave wherever you shouldn’t have hair (not judging) and then come back. For my next blog.

Seriously though, if you are feeling down about yourself, do something right now that will help you to feel better. Think, what always made you feel relaxed? Be it taking a nice hot bath, going for a walk, watching a good movie. It doesn’t have to involve being sociable. It never has to, but you’ll begin to see that over time, you will build yourself up mentally, and feel more able to talk to people again. Don’t worry about how long it takes, it will come. Everyone’s different. And guess what? Everyone is also loveable.  It all depends on how you choose to see yourself. Screw everybody else, for the time being, at least. You really have to be tough with yourself. You know how you should be. What do you need to change? How can you make it reality?

What L’oréal say is actually, surprisingly, true: You are worth it!

Remember that.

JLS. The Wanted. One Direction. JEDWARD.

What do they all have in common? I know it’s obvious, I just want you to mentally tell me, before I confirm.

Yes. Hopelessly devoted teenage fans. Queue Grease song: Hopelessly Devoted To You.

And do you know what? The main reason for their adoration is not what you may think: that they are good singers. They don’t have to be good singers. They just have to be relatively good looking, with a sprinkle of charm. Auto-tune can do the rest.

Now, I have to admit my hypocrisy. I have indeed fallen subject to the boy band hype, but managed to pull myself out alive. After a year (or two) solely dedicated to ensuring JLS (yes, I know) got to the top of the charts every time they released a single, promoting them to my less than interested friends, and generally just being a crazed maniac. A ‘mad bastard’ as we Irish would say. However, my addiction to the boy band drug was not the result of particularly good singing, but because they created the very convincing illusion of hope that, one day, after some strange and miraculous turn of events, I would a) marry one of them, b) be friends with them. Thus making me the centre of very envious attention. This single thought drove my addiction and was fed by the self-promotional flirtation that the band were probably encouraged to carry out. I found it somewhat exhilherating when another opposing band’s fan would bad mouth JLS, and I would have the sudden maternal urge to stand up for my lovely JLS who could at the time do no wrong. The main reason I loved them, is because they made me feel happy.

Like all addictions, you don’t even notice it happening, until you stop and realize just how much of your life it has taken away from you. Everyone, at some stage, has felt this for something. Wether it’s replying on Yahoo! Answers, cigarettes, Facebook…It’s always the same. You always feel good when you’re doing it. Right?

Addiction is often seen in a bad light. Obsession makes life a little more interesting, in my opinion. It’s a fundamental part of human existence. Yearning for things drives us to do things we sometimes are scared of, don’t want to do, or haven’t experienced before. Though some might think that’s a bad thing, I believe it’s always good to get a few goosebumps everyday. Now I’m not say to go out and buy yourself some hard drugs and liquor, obviously, I’m just saying addiction in small amounts is healthy. Too much, however, can be very dangerous and unhealthy, like in the case of Amy Winehouse, (RIP) resulting in the loss of some of the best of the world’s talent.

But at the end of the day, it’s all part of life, and you can look back upon it, and smile. Oohoohoo, I just did, made me chuckle. So think back. We were all silly once. Go on, try it!

For as long as we have existed together, males and females, there has always been controversy as to which is the superior. For many years, man was considered more intelligent, stronger, and just generally better than women. Then along came people like Nelson Mandela, and Harvey Milk, who showed everyone that they can, despite what some would think, change the status quo. Feminism spread like wildfire. Women started becoming more independent and successful in their careers. Everyone eventually accepted the fact that we are all equal. Okay, well maybe there still exists a bit of hostility in some countries. But you get what I mean.

However, I don’t know that we are both equal. Who, essentially, gets the better deal? That’s what I want to find out. I may be a girl, but I’m going to try to argue both sides with equal enthusiasm. Let’s take a look at the two, starting with the prepubescent girl. (I’m not going into the gory details….in very much detail).

So you’re running around outside, on a pleasant summers day, laughing, curling your pigtails, and generally just enjoying life. Then lo and behold, nature calls! So you run on inside into the bathroom to get on with your private business, and BAM! THERE IT IS! The beginnings of what is to be your very own monthly inconvenience for the rest of your reproductive life.  Complete with stomach cramps, and general moodiness. Don’t worry, after a while you get used to it.

After that biological bomb you’re emotionally shaken, and endure many years of other awkward body issues (including the surprise arrival of those flabby things on your chest). Then you start getting all sexually active etcetera etcetera…And before you know it, BAM! You’re preggers. Wether you’re happy or not, you have to go through 9 months of varying degrees of discomfort and bladder issues (or so I have heard). Then comes the worst bit! You know what that is so I’ll not go further than to say this: Mmmmmm…………POP! Haha.

Then it all just goes downhill from there. Biologically I mean. Things start to sag. Hairs start to grow in more visible areas. Hair also starts to disappear. But these are common to both genders, so let’s begin with the boy in his transition into manhood, will we?

So you’re running around outside, on a pleasant summers day, laughing, curli….sorry no, kicking a ball, and generally just enjoying life. Then you go to bed, feeling a little more hungry than usual. You wake to the feeling of aches in random parts of your body, mainly your legs. How’re you gonna play football today!! Anyway, this continues for a while, you growing more and more hungry, and eventually you end up surpassing your dad in height. Hands high in the air in gloating celebration, you notice some hair under your arms….and in other places, where it never was before! You scream in shock, only to hear that your voice doesn’t reach that same high pitch it used to. It’s now all up and down and all around. Soon this settles, right, and you’ve a new voice. All deep and old sounding.

After that biological bomb you’re pretty shaken. But you won’t let it show, you’re too tough! So after kissing your newly found guns goodnight, you start to get more comfortable with everything how it is. Then you want to go and stick your penis in someone. So that happens, but you end up accidentally being an asshole to some girl, and she kicks you…where it REAAAALLYY hurts. Owwie. Poor baby.

Obviously, I don’t know what it’s like to be a guy. I’ve heard it’s alright. It’s alright being a girl too, I guess. So maybe, fundamentally, we are all actually equal. Then again maybe not!

What do you think?

Making ‘THE MOVES’

 

 

Boy sitting in a bar with friends. Girl enters same bar with friends. Boys notice group of new pretty faces and begin to whisper and give stares. What happens next?

What is it that causes us to act so stereotypically? In my imaginary situation above, I would guess that the boy would eventually go up to talk to the girls (after much revving up from all his friends). He’d buy one (or, depending on his luck and mental state, two or three) a drink, they’d get talking. This could lead on to a kiss, which could, but would not necessarily lead to other things of the romantic nature, such as a relationship.

Why must romance follow a pattern? I’m not saying it always does but about 99.9999999999 % of the time this is how it seems to go. No?

 

Love is definitely a vital source of happiness in our daily diet. However, as an anti-monogamist, I believe in staying independent, with no obligations. The pure excitement of going on a night out, not knowing what could happen by the end of the night becomes like a powerful drug…that I have seen many people addicted to! Obviously including myself at times!

Having said that, my parents have been married for…around 20 years; yes, yes I have forgotten how long, forgive me! My grandparents were married for over 50. So, there must be something in a monogamous relationship that holds everything together. And for that long? It’d have to be good.

As I am still young and relatively foolish (if I do say so myself), I have probably yet to experience this unstoppable force which, I have a feeling, is called love? I have strong belief in the old saying that ‘there is someone for everyone’. However, I have equal belief in the expression ‘there are plenty more fish in the sea’. No one should ever give up hope on finding the right person, because there’s so many people on this tiny planet, there’s BOUND to be someone for everyone. Then again, I wouldn’t really know.

Would you?