If you had to choose: Head, or Heart?

This has long been hovering in the centre of much controversy. Is it better to make decisions with your head, or your heart?

Why is it that this question is so difficult to answer? Maybe because there are so many different people on this small and polluted planet of ours, and everyone has a different opinion, becuase that is their birth right. Maybe because some people who are more logically orientated think that mind always over rules heart. And because these people exist, so do their opposites, thus there are those who believe the heart is how you truly feel about someone, and that you can never be really happy until your heart is happy. Otherwise you feel incomplete.

 

So, which is better?

 

I think this question is almost impossible to answer, because at different times in our lives we want different things. Sometimes, it is necessary to think through your mind. Sometimes, it’s the heart that decides. Be it conscious or otherwise. These decisions, in turn, will influence the decisions of those around you, and it all keeps going around a non-stop chain reaction.

However, I do believe that there are people in this world who whole-heartedly (or headedly, for that matter) devote themselves to making one sided decisions. Ones that involve only the heart, or the head. And I admire them. But I also think that you can never be happy if you are always set in your ways. Everything should be open to interpretation.

I mainly go with what my heart tells me. But I realize that it can’t always be like that. And I’m pretty happy.

Loneliness: Causes and How to Stop it

We’ve all been lonely at some point in our lives. Everybody knows the feeling. It’s universal. Now I’m not talking about being alone, because sometimes that’s just what you need. But loneliness is an entirely different kettle of fish. You feel isolated, melancholic, and outcast. Forgotten, almost. None of these are very pleasant to experience. You know that there are thousands of other lonely people, but somehow it feels like it’s just you. Right?

Like everything, loneliness can be very dangerous in large quantities. For instance, when a mentally unstable person is isolated from human contact, ‘for their own good’. It’s happened, and will continue to happen, unfortunately. I know a few people who let their feelings of abandonment consumer their lives for years. It can make people do terrible things to themselves, and others. But you know what? They pulled through, and are now living happy enough lives. There is hope at the end of the tunnel.

So, what causes us to feel lonely? It could be small things, like a fight with a loved one, or everybody forgetting your birthday. Or it could be big, like the loss of a family member, lover, friend, due to some tragic illness. It could be pressure: pressure from having to do exams, having to get a report handed in on time, having to do a list of tasks that are seemingly impossible to do by oneself. Loneliness is caused by a time of stress, leaving us feeling withdrawn, empty and reclusive. It’s all mental though. It’s all in your mind.

That is what you have to realize (even if you think it’s absolute balderdash) if you want to get out. Most lonely people think of themselves as unlovable, unloved, unwanted, useless. All of which are completely untrue. You can choose to forget about all the crap going on in your life right now and just go out and talk to people. Who cares if they like you or not? There’s so many different kinds of people in the world, you’re bound to find someone who does. Plus, if you’re a nice person, that is always easily recognisable, and likeable, even if you are super weird. You are what you make yourself out to be. And that’s the damn truth. If you are sitting there, reading this blog (thanks btw) in your (unwashed) underwear (don’t pretend it doesn’t happen) eating a piece of cold, greasy pizza, then you are, in fact, a mess. Get yourself up, get in the shower, put on new underwear, shave wherever you shouldn’t have hair (not judging) and then come back. For my next blog.

Seriously though, if you are feeling down about yourself, do something right now that will help you to feel better. Think, what always made you feel relaxed? Be it taking a nice hot bath, going for a walk, watching a good movie. It doesn’t have to involve being sociable. It never has to, but you’ll begin to see that over time, you will build yourself up mentally, and feel more able to talk to people again. Don’t worry about how long it takes, it will come. Everyone’s different. And guess what? Everyone is also loveable.  It all depends on how you choose to see yourself. Screw everybody else, for the time being, at least. You really have to be tough with yourself. You know how you should be. What do you need to change? How can you make it reality?

What L’oréal say is actually, surprisingly, true: You are worth it!

Remember that.

Making ‘THE MOVES’

 

 

Boy sitting in a bar with friends. Girl enters same bar with friends. Boys notice group of new pretty faces and begin to whisper and give stares. What happens next?

What is it that causes us to act so stereotypically? In my imaginary situation above, I would guess that the boy would eventually go up to talk to the girls (after much revving up from all his friends). He’d buy one (or, depending on his luck and mental state, two or three) a drink, they’d get talking. This could lead on to a kiss, which could, but would not necessarily lead to other things of the romantic nature, such as a relationship.

Why must romance follow a pattern? I’m not saying it always does but about 99.9999999999 % of the time this is how it seems to go. No?

 

Love is definitely a vital source of happiness in our daily diet. However, as an anti-monogamist, I believe in staying independent, with no obligations. The pure excitement of going on a night out, not knowing what could happen by the end of the night becomes like a powerful drug…that I have seen many people addicted to! Obviously including myself at times!

Having said that, my parents have been married for…around 20 years; yes, yes I have forgotten how long, forgive me! My grandparents were married for over 50. So, there must be something in a monogamous relationship that holds everything together. And for that long? It’d have to be good.

As I am still young and relatively foolish (if I do say so myself), I have probably yet to experience this unstoppable force which, I have a feeling, is called love? I have strong belief in the old saying that ‘there is someone for everyone’. However, I have equal belief in the expression ‘there are plenty more fish in the sea’. No one should ever give up hope on finding the right person, because there’s so many people on this tiny planet, there’s BOUND to be someone for everyone. Then again, I wouldn’t really know.

Would you?